skyscraper

I’ve heard some pretty dumb lyrics in my time so I decided to put together a list of the Top 10 Most Ridiculous Song Lyrics. Some of the choices were made because they were just plain crap, and some others were made because they were so random. The following ten are the most blatant offences I can find in my mental song library.

10. Scatman John – I’m A Scatman

The first time I heard this song was in that movie Baseketball and I must say it was pretty damn hilarious, not the most annoying song in the world but the lyrics are pretty horrific. You know a song’s lyrical credibility ain’t too flash when the key lyric is the title sung over and over again.

“I’m the Scatman, repeat after me
It’s a scoobie, oobie, doobie, scoobie, doobie melody
I’m the Scatman, repeat after me
It’s a scoobie, oobie, doobie, scoobie, doobie melody”

 

9. Lil Wayne feat. R.Kelly – Every Girl

God I really hope this song didn’t make any money – honestly a world where a song like this could gain airplay might as well end at 2012. Maybe that’s too harsh, perhaps just some sort of ‘Great Purge’ of all major music label execs who allowed these two artists to exist. Anyways, these lyrics pretty much indicate that R.Kelly will ‘sex’ YOU and anyone related to you. He even says he’ll have sex with the Statue of Liberty. I wonder if this song ever made it to the clubs where people could bump n’ grind to this? I sincerely hope not.

“I like her, I like her, I like her
Wait, I like her too, I like her too
And her friend too, and her cousin too
And her sister, and her mother
And her, her, her, her, her big grandma
From the hood to the fuckin’ industry
Even the Statue of Liberty”

 

8. Blink 182 – Fuck a Dog

I didn’t even know this song existed until I was scouring for horrible song lyrics. I think the title speaks for itself. The topic of Zoophilia in songs is usually very rarely covered. I mean I recognize that Blink-182 were a very popular, successful band with great hits but this is just…I don’t know…I’m quite speechless with this example. It is quite funny when you listen to it actually, it’s examples like this that remind me of groups like The Lonely Island who just made comedic offensive music, which is actually pretty awesome.

“I wanna fuck a dog in the ass (he wants to fuck a dog in the ass)
I wanna fuck a dog, that’s right kids
I tried to fuck your mom in the ass, tried to fuck your dad in the ass,
could only find the dog, and his ass”

 

7. Rebecca Black – Friday

Congratulations Rebecca Black for making (did she make it?) one of the worst songs ever. I’m not even going to post the lyrics; I’m pretty sure the quality of this song speaks for itself, but I was cracking myself up when I came across what people had to say about the song;

“Either everyone involved in the making of this song is a complete and total idiot, or the lyricist has produced a genius work of satire.”

“I believe this song is about drugs, LSD or something similar. May also be DMT.”

 

6. Ween – Pollo Asado

This song I added because I thought it was one of the most ridiculously funny songs I have ever heard, the lyrics are basically a dialogue between two people, one person sounding like a hungry person ordering a lot of Mexican food and the other person being the vendor. It just carries on with his bizarre orders at what I imagine to be a Taco Bell-esque establishment.

“Ok, on my burrito I would like the muchaco beef and the shredded pork.
And some more cheese, please.
Ok, that’ll be $22…
Uh, oh yes, I would like two lemonades and one medium iced-tea.
Ok, that’ll be $20.07.
Out of $22? Ok, $1.52’s your change.
Thanks a lot. Your food will be up. Here, let me get your drinks.”

 

5. Soulja Boy – Crank That (Soulja Boy)

With a song like this I can’t help laughing at the rapper, it is so damn ridiculous how this song was actually garnered popularity. I mean what is he even talking about in his song, he’s got bathing apes? cranking roosevelt? and he’s ‘supersoaking’ hoes? I doubt he ever intended on annunciating when he was making this song.

“I’m bouncin on my toe
watch me supersoak dat hoe
I’ma pass it to arab
then he gon pass it to the low (low)
haterz wanna be me
Soulja boy, I’m the man
They be lookin at my neck
sayin it’s the rubberband man (man)
watch me do it (watch me do it)
dance (dance)”

 

4. Sisqo – Thong Song

Everyone should know this song, not because it’s good but because it’s so bad its kinda…ok and a little catchy. I don’t think anyone really looked into Sisqo’s other music beyond Thong Song, probably for good reason too. But I do recall that height of Sisqo’s fame IN the early 2000’s when the song was being blasted on the Radio like no other. This guy was even in a movie with Kirsten Dunst, granted it was a freaking horrible movie (Get Over It), the song clearly made him a good 1 hit wonder.

“She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
Uh
I think to sing it again
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long
Let me see that thong”

 

3. Ke$ha – Blah Blah Blah

How is this woman allowed to make music?!? Her lyrics are down right filthy and just excruciating. I mean she would never in a million years be on my iPod or iTunes list but I knew she would have really crappy lyrics so I had to put her on this list. It all started when I had the worst housemate who thought she was cool by creating her choreographed version of some really bad song I had no idea of…slowly it was brought to my attention that it was a Ke$ha song and I guess thats when the seeds of hatred were sown. I could go on for hours about this, but you be the judge and check out the …sigh…. lyrics.

“…I don’t really care where you live at just turn around boy and let me hit that.
Don’t be a little bitch with your chit chat just show me where your dicks at…”
“Blah blah blah think youl be getting this nah nah nah
Not in the back of my car car car
If you keep talking that blah blah blah blah blah.”

 

2. 50 Cent – Candy Shop

Oh man this song is just plain terrible, but it does crack me up. To be honest the 50 cent version is just annoying and I would rather punch myself in the face then listen to it from beginning to end, but after watching The Hangover I developed a new found appreciation for its crappyness. The song sung in ending wedding scene with the wedding singer who is actually the same wedding singer in the movie Old School really ignited the hilarity of the song. Just goes to show hearing lyrics in a different Musical Context can really change your opinion of a song, for better or worse.

1. R. Kelly – The Zoo

And again we come back to R.Kelly, I really don’t know what to say about this guy. His lyrics must say a lot about who he is. Anyone remember all those legal issues he had concerning underage shenanigans and the hilarious backlash he received about it, one in particular a parody of one of his songs on the Dave Chappelle show. But this song takes the cake on my list as having the most ridiculous song lyrics. R.Kelly is a big fan of using his voice to detail every filthy thing he has on his mind; I figure after being in the music business for so long he’s just gotten lazy with his lyrics and is just being flat out obscene. Nonetheless its kind of funny how this song can be appreciated by his fans.

“Girl I got you so wet
​It’s like a rainforest
Like Jurassic Park
Except I’m your Sexasaurus, baby”

What did you make of our top 10? We’d love to know your suggestions – let us know on the Tastebuds forum, or on our Facebook page.