How To Meet New People
How do you meet new people? Meeting new people can be hard and sometimes even awkward. Making new social interactions, breaking the ice… finding people who you’re going to get on with is a nerve-wracking experience for some. We’ve got some tips on making meeting new people as easy as pie, so read on for our top tips!
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Eventually, you will need to get out of your comfort zone.
If you’re in a rush, don’t bother reading more – the previous sentence sums it up. Pull yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things. If you take the same steps, you’ll end up with the very same results. If your messages are unreplied, your advances rebuffed and your social skills deflected – you will need to do things differently.
Yes, it will push you naked into the unknown, yes, you will have to face failure and yes, the first steps are always hard. And that’s deceiving. Everything is hard at the beginning. This also means things will get better. Progressively. Continuously. Better.
At this point, you probably think it’s easier for others and you’re the only person stuck in a rut.
WRONG. Projection is an awfully bad human trait. In layman’s terms, projection happens when you think others believe or think the same way you do. FALSE. Other people are other people, not you. They don’t think or act the way you want them to (if they do, we’ll need you to write us a guest blogpost on that!).
Stay calm. If you think you’re the only person who feels uneasy when talking to strangers – you’re not. It’s a deeply rooted problem with a lot of people – and many of us just want others to be kind and open to us. Only we don’t talk about it, as this level of honesty is uncommon.
Happiness is a bird that flies on an unruffled soul.
MAD POETRY! If you’re worrying about how to talk to people, how to chat them up, how to show them your best you – you’ll choke. Also, however good you are, after a relatively short time the real you comes through.
And you don’t want others to love an image of you. You want others to love you. And also if you go out and want to make new acquaintances forcefully – we’re not oracles but we can foretell that it’s most likely not going to end on a happy note.
You will definitely have to be able to deal with rejection and uncertainty.
You’ll have to learn to deal with the notion of people saying no to you. (You should have learned this at the age of three when your parents didn’t allow you to drown the toy duck in the toilet.) Try and give the same amount of zero fucks as when you were three.
Someone doesn’t have the time to talk to me or doesn’t feel we have enough in common to reply? Good, I will not have to spend Gordon Ramsey’s yearly income on a lawyer to make the bastard divorce and leave for good ten years later. The sooner it turns out that someone doesn’t click with you, the better. Remember: if your brains click, it’s a paved road. If it doesn’t, no amount of style, eccentricity or forced change will help.
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
If you can decide to go somewhere new and meet new people or end up staying at home – go out.
Force yourself to do this. Seriously, it is a habit worth taking if you want to be more social. The more people you know, the higher your social skills become, making you more confident. Which is one of the things you wanted.
What are you passionate about?
You could obviously go around meeting people in pubs and all the established venues of social interaction but the best idea would be to pick the things that you like and find events related to it. There’s a meetup for almost every interest and hobby on meetup.com, so finding your events around you (or even organizing it! why not?) should be straightforward.
Meetups could make you think about language learning lessons or dance clubs or training lessons or religion-based events or… God, this list is long. You’ve probably gotten the picture by now.
Or you could just find events where you can talk about your passions. For example Speed Listening, which is about having a drink and showing your favourite tunes to others who’re there for the same thing.
….OR CONNECT ONLINE FIRST
Using social networks as dating sites.
Social networks are essentially dating sites (community sites, if you want a euphemism). You might use social networks to talk to people you already know but what keeps you from talking to people you don’t know yet? (As long as you maintain a socially acceptable level of making new friendships.) You could form great relationships with people from Instagram through Tumblr to…. well. Everything.
Tastebuds and other niche network sites.
Remember what we’ve wrote earlier about finding culturally relevant events? There are loads and loads of niche networks that will help you find your tribe – from tribe.net to vampirefreaks.com… and our very own Tastebuds designed specifically to help you meet people who share your music taste. Talking about music is a super-easy way of breaking the ice, after all.
Go where people talk.
Forums. Comments. Blogs. Tumblrs. Comments. Interactions. Chatrooms. Boards. Groups. Anywhere where you can filter their brains first and chat them up later!
Final words of wisdom? Be yourself, do not be afraid and take everything with a light heart. Meeting new people is not hard at all. If you have any good stories about meeting new people (especially if it has anything to do with music), share it with us in the comments!
Join Tastebuds and meet people through music
Tastebuds connects you with people in your city who share your taste in music. Simply add your favourite music and start meeting new people!See your music matches