This year over 135,000 people are expected to flock to Glastonbury Festival for a weekend of live music, arts and mind-altering chemical experiences. Many of you lucky enough to have snagged a ticket will be single, and many of you will undoubtedly end up doing the walk of shame from a stranger’s tent in the morning. Want to get lucky this year? Here’s how to maximise your chances…

Glastonbury Pickup Lines

You could go with the “Do you come here often” or the “What’s your favourite band?” traditional approach….or the slightly more direct “Get your coat, you’ve pulled” – but we thought we’d come up with some Glastonbury-themed openers to break the ice AND show off your music knowledge:

  1. Arctic MonkeysDon’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair to my tent – that’s where we’ll be When The Sun Goes Down
  2. Dizzee Rascal: Tall people drive me Bonkers – if you can’t see, hop on my shoulders and we’ll Stand Up Tall – then later we can see if You’ve Got The Dirtee Love….
  3. Professor Green: Forget about seeing any more bands today…clear your schedule ‘cause I Need You Tonight
  4. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds: I swear I can see the stars in those Wide Lovely Eyes of yours
  5. Kate Nash3AM – my tent or yours? We can make Merry Happy music together….
  6. The Lumineers: I love the pretty Flowers In Your Hair – how about a Ho Hey and a bottle of rum at my tent later?
  7. Lucy Rose: In case you’re wondering….I sleep in the Middle of the Bed
  8. The Orb: I can make you feel like you’re floating on Little Fluffy Clouds – we’ll be Making Love in Dub
  9. Netsky: I’m a Secret Agent – let’s love like We Can Only Live Today
  10. Submotion Orchestra: Buy me a burger & chips and I’m All Yours….All Night

So why have we gone for those particular acts? We’ve been running the numbers…and, aside from the obvious headliners, these are the bands to see depending on who you’re looking for:


We also compared the attitudes of festival-goers when it comes to hooking up in a muddy field. Surprise, surprise: guys were much more inclined to unzip their tents for a stranger:


♪ Na na na na – na na na….

Hundreds of Tastebuds users so far have RSVP’d ‘Yes’ to Glastonbury this year – log in to join the festival bonanza…